Thursday, April 26, 2012

Best. Avengers. Review. Ever.

Review: Neill Cumpston returns to review 'The Avengers'

An internet legend returns just in time to review the summer's biggest movie:

  So let me just save you some time and say this movie will break your hand with its cock and balls by running at your hand which you’ve made into a fist, thinking, “I’m gonna punch this movie in its cock and balls ‘cause no fucking way can it be good” but then before you do anything the movie runs at you and breaks your hand with its cock and balls because its cock and balls are like a chunk of highway.  They can use this part of the review on the poster.

Posted via email from Gareth's posterous

Monday, April 16, 2012

Charlie Brooker: Some people are gay in space. Get over it.

It must be awful, being a homophobe. Having to spend all that time obsessing about what gay people might be doing with their genitals. Seeing it in your mind, over and over again, in high-definition close-up. Bravely you masturbate, to make the pictures go away, but to no avail. They're seared onto your mental membranes. Every time you close your eyes, an imaginary gay man's imaginary penis rises from the murk, bowing ominously in your direction, sensing your discomfort. Laughing. Mocking. Possibly even winking. How dare they, this man and his penis? How dare they do this to you?

Read the rest of this awesome article.

Posted via email from Gareth's posterous