"Please, sit down. We've been waiting for you for a very long time."
"Where am I?"
"You are in the Land of In-between-and-a-little-to-the-left. The Prophecy said you would come to us."
The hero sighed. "There's always a prophecy."
"Yes, it says that-"
"Don't bother. They never make any sense until afterwards."
"Oh, but our interpretation-"
"I said not to bother. Let's get on with it. There's a MacGuffin, right?"
"A magic sword, or orb, spell, holy toenail, sometimes a princess, sometimes a prince. You've got something that you think I need to defeat some bad man, monster, god or giant chicken. Only it's been lost for years, or eaten,or sealed in a crypt, or fired into the heart of the sun, and I have to get it. Right?"
"Well, sort of. There's the Jaunty-angled Cap of the Flamboyant Sorceror-King, we believe it is the only hope against the murderous King Marjorie."
"Cap, eh? That's a new one, I'll give you that. Anyway, let me give you the executive summary: I'll get the thingy, after a lot of irritating adventures, involving talking animals, but in the course of the final punch-up with King Marjorie I'll realise that the power I needed was inside me all along. Now, let's save us all a lot of tedious mucking about and just go and have a chat with King Thingy, explain that all you need is love and then I can bugger off back home in time for tea."
"You truly are the Chosen One. That's exactly what the Prophecy said. Word for word."